Here are some realistic (tongue-in-cheek) New Year’s resolutions for computer users.
- Stop bringing lunch to work and eat out more. Your desk has 400 times more bacteria than the average toilet, and food crumbs are bad for your computer keyboard.
- Eat breakfast every day. You need the coffee and donuts to stay awake while staring at the computer screen all morning.
- Be flexible with your exercise routine. Skip some days so you can watch the Lord of the Rings movies again. You need to get psyched for the new Hobbit movie, right?
- Put on 20 pounds. This will be easy considering the above three resolutions.
- Buy all new clothes. See above resolution to put on weight.
- Reduce swearing at the computer to less than five times per day.
- Have a few drinks every night with dinner to deal with the stress of not cursing at the computer. Wine does have some health benefits.
- Get a second job to pay for the restaurant lunches, new clothes, and extra alcoholic beverages.
- Come down with carpal tunnel syndrome or its buddy, tendinitis. Who has time for stretching breaks?
Happy New Year!