Sexual Deprivation Causes Hysteria
I heard the craziest thing on American Horror Story Wednesday night. I didn’t know if it was true since I’d never heard such a thing, so had to research. Up through the 19th century, many women were diagnosed as ‘hysterical” when they were faint, restless, moody; a whole host of symptoms that was lumped under one diagnosis – hysteria (which was later removed as a condition from the medical association). Doctors at the time speculated that one out of four women were ‘hysterical’. In fact, they attributed female hysteria to sexual deprivation more often than not and said it was rampant among virgins, nuns, widows, and even some married women.
The treatment prescribed was the doctor had to manually masturbate these women until they experienced “hysterical paroxysms” or orgasms to you and me. (Hystera was the Greek word for the uterus, hence removing it is still called a hysterectomy). The doctors, I read, had a hard time mastering the technique for swift masturbation (as men have historically been uneducated about the existence and location of the clitoris), so would sometimes refer these women to a midwife (who knows the female anatomy better than another woman, right?), but that cut into their business profits so they invented a water massager (the first spray-adjustable hand-held shower heads), and then a clock-motor driven massager (the first vibrator). This cut the ‘treatment’ time down from hours to minutes, and probably saved those misguided men from developing carpal tunnel syndrome! This last sentence also brings up the side discussion of how men like to rush through the foreplay; even 19th century physicians! Boo!
First Modern Day Appliance – The Vibrator
When electricity was introduced to modern households, vibrators were on the market long before modern appliances such as the vacuum cleaner (by 10 years). These 19th century doctors made a killing selling “Home Massaging Devices” to their patients and those patients were able to have their treatments in the privacy of their home. “Alone time” is introduced to the modern world.
It’s Not Sex Unless There is Penetration
The strangest part of this whole history lesson is that the 19th century medical association didn’t consider masturbating female patients as a sex act or anywhere near sexual! Yet when the speculum was invented (a device inserted into the vaginal canal for examination and a pap smear test), it had people all fired up over the inappropriateness of it. Cheaters may latch onto this analogy that it isn’t cheating unless there’s penetration just like 19th century society didn’t consider it sex until a cold metal instrument was inserted into their puritan vaginas.
Who knew a lesson could be learned from a mentally-twisted drama? The take away from this waltz through history is that if you’re feeling stressed (modern-day hysteria), grab yourself a home massager (your fave vibrator) and ‘treat’ yourself until you have “hysterical paroxysms”. Doctor’s orders.
(Find similar items here in San Antonio at Adam & Eve on San Pedro.)
Just in time for Christmas, introducing my first children’s book (and first in a series), The Cat Who Wanted to be a Reindeer. This fully color-illustrated story is for children 9 and under and available for download on NOOK from Barnes and Noble. This heartwarming tale of Sam and his feline friends makes a wonderful gift.
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Download HARVEST, a sci-fi short story from author, Michele Gwynn, available on Barnes & Noble online for NOOK, Kindle, and Kobo eReaders.
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