This Sunday, December 25, 2011, The Children Of The Late Pastor Zachery Tims Will Be Doing Something They Have Never Done Before In Their Lives. While Religious Conspirators Are Attempting To Abscond With Their Father’s Legacy And their Mothers’ Vision, The Children Of Zachery Tims Will Be Celebrating Christmas Day Without Their Father. Most Of The World Knows By Now That Each One Of Zachery And Riva Tims’ Children Have A First Name That Begins With The Letter “Z”. I Like To Call Them The Four Z’s. It has musical sound to it, much like The Five Heartbeats. Besides, the oldest Z sings like a cherub. As Riva Tims’ Four Heartbeats Prepare For Their First Christmas Without Their Father, Far Too Many Church Folk Are Waiting With Baited Breath For The Results Of Zachery’s Autopsy. However, Some Of Us In The Body Of Christ Are Waiting For The Results Of God’s Healing In The Lives of Zachery’s Grieving Children. It Is To The Four Z’s, That This Article Is Dedicated.
After many years of struggling with substance abuse he lay dead and alone in a hotel room. Just 42 years young and loved by many, he left behind 4 young children (2 boys and 2 girls) and an ex-wife who loved him dearly. Zachery Tims was only six years old when my father’s body was discovered in a hotel room 30 years ago after having been dead for 3 days.
When I first learned of Zachery Tim’s death I was overwhelmed with sadness. It was the kind of sadness reserved for the loss of a beloved father. As I learned of some of the particulars surrounding Zachery’s death I was struck by the haunting similarities between his death and that of my father. I immediately began to pray for the Tims’ children. Although Zachery’s children have some difficult days ahead of them, I declare by faith that they are more than conquerors. My family overcame and the Four Z’s will too! Over 30 years ago their story was my story. The questions, the fear, the pain and the anger is unbelievable and oftentimes unbearable. Fortunately for my brothers, my sister and I, we did not have the daunting task of grieving for our father while the church and the world watched – some watching through the lens of compassion while others squint through the blindfold of judgment. If I were given the opportunity today to give a gift to the children of the late Pastor Zachery Tims I would share this word with them:
- The circumstances surrounding your father’s death DOES NOT mean that he did not love the Lord and nor does it mean that he did not repent in his final moments. Trust God that you will see him again in heaven
- Do not let anyone define your father for you. You knew the real deal and loved him just the same. You do not have to defend him or his memory. The Lord God keeps good records and will reward us all accordingly.
- Do not gloss over or ignore the mistakes your father made. Learn from them. Take hold of the right and righteous things that your Dad taught you. You will be a testament to the good that your Dad did in this world as you guard your heart and mind against the tricks of the enemy that caused him to stumble.
- There will be days when you will miss him so much that you will not want to get out of bed. Then there will be days when the memory of something that he did or said will cause you to laugh until your sides hurt. Go through the process. Know that it is okay to grieve as long as you need to grieve. There are several stages of grief, but I wish to share four of them with you. They are denial, anger, depression and acceptance.
DENIAL: There are days when it is hard to believe that he is really gone. That’s okay. The Lord has promised never to leave or forsake you.
ANGER: Allow yourself to be angry. Be angry with God for allowing it. Be angry with your Dad for leaving you. Be angry with the gossiping church folks. Tell the Lord that you are angry. Being angry does not make you any less of a Christian. However, owning your anger can keep you from sinning while making room for the Holy Spirit to minister healing to your soul.
DEPRESSION: Battling depression which is the spirit of heaviness can be a most formidable foe. But know this, it is a defeated foe. The excruciating pain of losing your Dad, especially in the way that you did, will make you highly vulnerable to depression. Just thinking about it can make you physically ill. But I promise you, Jesus can and will restore your joy. When you find yourself overwhelmed with sadness for hours and days at a time, please, please talk to your Mom. Do not keep the pain to yourself. Don’t worry about making her sad. Sharing your heart about your Dad will keep the healing waters flowing through her heart as well.
ACCEPTANCE: This is the final, but the most important stage of the grief process. One day you will wake up and the pain of losing your Dad will not be so agonizing. You will have come to a place where you accept the fact that your father has died. It will come when you least expect it. This realization may still be painful, but it will not cripple you. Will you ever have closure? I do not believe in closure, in the sense that you can ever get over losing your father, but you will be able to live a majestic life in spite of such a great loss. I promise you, Four Z’s, the Lord will turn your mourning into dancing. You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy. Psalm 30:11
To the children of the late Pastor Zachery Tims, you have spent your entire lives having to share your Dad with the Church and the world. Now you must share him with eternity. I pray that someday soon the pain that you are experiencing today will surrender to the comfort of God. I anticipate the day when the Holy Spirit will reveal to you how God used your father’s death for His Glory. God would not let the devil have the last word. The shock and grief of your father’s death caused many people, from the pulpit to the parking lot, to reflect, repent and return to God. In that way, like Samson, your father destroyed more enemies of the Lord in his death than he did during his life. May Jesus visit you on Christmas Day with the supernatural gift of His Presence. As you remain in His care,
Monica C. Holland, Editor
Woman of Destiny Magazine Online
Charlotte Christianity Examiner
This Is The Third and Final Article In A Three-Part Series On The Death Of Zachery Tims And Its Impact Upon The Body Of Christ. For More Read: “Church, Stop The Cover-Up!” and “Fruit or Fan of Zachery Tims”.
Be A Blessing To Zachery & Riva Tims’ Children!