After years of being married to Mr. or Mrs. Wrong and the ensuing divorce, many of us quickly sign up for Internet dating. Many of us start with a romp on eHarmony.
- Inspired by those romantic eHarmony ads on TV, we bite.
- They say 15,000 people every day fill out the infamous questionnaire.
- It can take in excess of 90 minutes to complete the extremely long questionnaire: comprised of 426 seemingly inane questions covering 29 dimensions. Who knew there was life after the Fifth Dimension?
Finally, you pay hefty $60 for a one month membership. eHarmony claims the quality of the service and that “sophisticated matching algorithm” and personality analysis, are so worth it. You be the judge.
Good News- Bad News
Shortly thereafter, you receive an analysis of your personality and a description of your “perfect mate”. Okay. Most of us are seduced by flattery and eHarmony will send pages of prose extolling your virtues. You may be honest, loyal, and steadfast like a Boy Scout. Or Eclectic, eccentric and exceptionally unusual. To say eHarmony paints with a broad brush only begins to describe the way they analyze your attributes. Bottom line? We all want to see a long list of perfect match Prince or Princess Charmings. In the TV ads, couples evidently connected at breakneck speed. There seemed to be a lot of happily- ever- after- going on, right?
Hurry Up and Wait
Then, much to your chagrin, you learn what the term ‘glacially slow’ means. A glacier moves one tiny fraction of a millimeter of an inch every several thousand days – just like eHarmony. Okay, so my exact glacier mass measurements are fiction — but the fact that eHarmony is slow is pure fact. Be prepared to wait, for a very long time.
So, Is it Even Worth a Try?
One size does not fit all and there are tens of thousands of very happy members on eHarmony. The website is a treasure trove of opportunities. You can order flowers, Fandango tickets, buy insurance, and, yes even prescription drugs and there are pages and pages of pretty mild dating advice. Seriously. It may be a perfect fit for your lifestyle and expectations.
You don’t know until you’ve done some research. Get in the game and have fun on the quest.
“What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?” Vincent van Gogh
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