1. Say what you mean. Mean what you say.Part A: Say what you mean.
Do you find yourself making up excuses to avoid dealing with an uncomfortable situation?
For example, your friend asks you to some social event. You don’t really want to go, but make up an excuse that “I can’t make it” or “I’m busy“, probably so you can quietly avoid something or someone or some activity.
It is not that you cannot do something, the truth is that you have chosen not to do something, but the act of creating an excuse or avoiding it initiates a stir in your inner space, and it takes energy to maintain. Instead of stillness and peace, you are holding on toand thinking about this little lingering “lie”.
When you own what you say, no one can reject it, even if they don’t like what they hear; because you are telling the truth and you mean it.
Part B: Mean what you say.
Sometimes we say things in passing out of habit that we don’t mean or intend on following through with. For example, we will say, “I’ll call you soon“, or “I’ll call you tomorrow“, as parting words to a friend, and don’t intend on keeping that statement, but say it because it was easy and made the other person feel good.
We may think that these casual comments are harmless. They become little lies that we internalize, and over time they will develop into a guilty conscience that distracts you away from the moment, not to metion hurting others
Make a commitment to yourself to mean everything that you say, and not to make empty promises that you cannot, will not, do not intend to fulfill.
2. Don’t say it to anyone unless you can say to everyone.
Whether we admit to this or not, most of us love some form of gossiping, argh. We are so quick to notice fault in others, and then talk about them with our trusted allies, and take the chance it will come back on us. Ouch.
When we consciously observe such a conversation, we learn that we have accomplished nothing that feeds our soul. All we did was spread drama and created negative energy and inner conflict that polluted our inner space.
3. Don’t say inside, what you cannot say outside.
We are extremely critical of ourselves. Because we would never tell the world what we say to ourselves, in the privacy of our mind, we believe that we are the only ones affected by negative self-talk, low self-esteem, and anxiety.
These false beliefs become detrimental to our spirits and future wellbeing, and the world, out there can be hard enough.
Next time, you hear the voice in your head say “I’m stupid” or “I’m not good enough” or “I am a failure” or other related self-defeating thoughts, think cancel that thought.
The basic premise, what you are not able to say out aloud to anyone, don’t even bother entertaining inside your head. Keep your inner space clean.
4. Don’t say unless it is true, useful or kind.
Some people have so much inner chatter that it spills out of them in the form of useless speecch, remember what Thumper’s mama said?
Observe the people who talk, or love to chitchat at work by the water fountain. If you observe and count the number of things they say that are actually useful or truly interesting, it would be a low number.
This is not only distracting for those around this person, it takes an enormous amount of energy for this person to keep talking. Recall the last time you talked for a long time about something random, and how drained you felt afterwards. Plus, the more useless things we say, the more useless things we feed back into our head.
Some folks practice days where they don’t speak at all, or read, or use the computer. And at the end of such a day, they feel a tremendous sense of peace, space and energy bubbling inside them.