The last couple months of the year carry with them this sense of gratitude and reflection as we make our way through this merry holiday season. This can manifest itself in phenomenal ways, particularly when you set the intention to see the amazing things the world has to offer through all your accumulated wisdom.
When you’re busy being grateful and reflecting on the past year, it’s also a terrific time to think about what it means to date with dignity so you can set realistic, manageable goals for the coming year.
1. Stay True to You.Before you can be your true self, you have to know your true self. This authenticity is important, because it’s what men (and women!) are most attracted to. As a dating and relationship coach, I hear this again and again from members of my Man Panels who give women the straight talk on what really attracts men. Honesty and authenticity are more than just attractive; they’re enticing.
2. Make Peace with Rejection. Let’s face it: rejection flat-out sucks. Learning that a date – or even an attraction to or interest in someone you meet in passing – doesn’t necessarily mean you’re an ideal match. But take heart! This doesn’t mean you messed up, and it definitely doesn’t mean you’re unworthy of love or that something’s “wrong” with you. As Freud might say, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar – and maybe you’re more cut out for a Cuban than the Ecuadorian you’ve been eyeing. Don’t let rejection devastate you; instead, treat it as a learning experience and see how you can apply it to your next date.
3. Determine What You Really Want. Ask yourself what you really want from life and a loving relationship. Don’t ignore your inner intuitive voice, because it’s probably trying to tell you something incredibly important. Are the choices you’re making about dating, romance and relationships coming from a place of dignity and self-love? If they are, you’ll have peace of mind and will flourish.
4. Let Go of the Past. This plays right into point numbers two and three. If you dwell on what’s come before instead of learning from it and moving on, you’ll stay stuck. Accepting your past and intentionally choosing to move forward sets you up for amazing opportunities rather than essentially ensuring you’ll just experience more of the same.
5. Set Aside Time for Your Soul and Your Friends. Creating and maintaining an active lifestyle ensures you stay connected to friends. Without those connections, you might begin to lose sight of who you are, where you’ve been and where you’re going. Friends (and the activities you share with them) keep you grounded and stop you from feeling lonely and isolated. I teach my clients to create a life they love, which is a key component of Dating with Dignity’s 10-Step Method to Manifesting Love. Don’t forget that YOU are responsible for the life you live, and you need to be proactive rather than kicking back on your keister and waiting for invitations for others.
More than anything, I want you to know that 2012 can be your best year ever if you concentrate on yourself first so you can find the partner who’s right for you.