In today’s fast-paced society, we have come to rely on technology to schedule meetings, plan vacations and interact with people from all over the world. With the variety of chatrooms and instant messaging services, you can meet just about anyone from any walk of life. This also makes it easier for men and women to cheat on their spouses, with less remorse than a physical relationship would provide. The problem is, these types of affairs are just as damaging if not more than a physical affair.
Many people who participate in online and text affairs spend countless hours online or texting, often ignoring household and family. Sleeping patterns change as they carry out their affair into the wee hours of the morning, using different chat features, cell phones and even webcams. A decline in sexual desire for their spouse also commonly becomes evident, as the other person starts to feel ignored and alone. Cheating spouses will often sneak off several times per day and avoid allowing you access to their computer or cell phone. If the computer or cell phone is shared, they may hide numbers under different names or erase all traces of interaction by deleting messages, cookies and overly protecting instant messaging and email passwords.
The implications are the same, or worse than discovering a physical affair because more emotion has been invested creating the ultimate betrayal of one spouse to another. Some men and women do not see this, thinking that these types of affairs are harmless often assuring their spouses that “nothing would have happened.” This is not true. Many affairs that are committed online do progress into plans for a physical meeting and relationship. The cheating spouse will often set up a meeting place and time, lying to their spouse with claims of a business venture, trip to visit parents or other out-of-town reason and insist that the other spouse stay at home.
Spouses who are cheated on via internet and texting often find out months to years after the onset of the affair. The emotional betrayal is often hard to bear and sickening. Depression, trust issues and insecurities are just a few feelings that are created in the innocent spouse. Some men and women suffer from nightmares and paranoia that the affair or another affair will occur, often placing tracking programs and monitoring usage of computers and cell phones. If the spouse decides to forgive, it is important to remember, forgetting is another story. Forgetting the incident happened is harder because of the constant reminder every time one of these devices is switched on.
Cheating spouses need to be made aware that these types of affairs are harmful and are not safer than physical affairs. Many online and texting affairs have led to divorce and have been labeled as an addiction in most guilty individuals. Anyone can be anything online, meaning when you cheat online, you can’t be sure the person you are speaking with is being truthful. Take the story of a woman who caught her husband in an online affair in March of 2011. Her husband had been a member of a popular online 3D gaming platform and met a woman in Kentucky. He began having an affair with her online, telling the woman he loved her and wanted to be with her only. He kept promising to leave his wife and made up outrageous lies to gain the other woman’s sympathy. The other woman would tell him she was struggling as a single mom and worked at a local fast food joint, and was very lonely. When his wife found out about the affair, her world crashed down around her. The lies he told her and the other woman, the terms of endearment that he told the other woman that rightfully belonged to the wife were all too much to bear. The kicker was when she found out that the other woman was a drug addict, had lost custody of her children years before and was working the streets as a prostitute and living out of a hotel. The woman was also reported to have several venereal diseases. The wife was in shock, as her husband had made plans for this other woman to visit the home they shared for a tryst right under her nose.
Society has made it easier and easier to cheat, leaving many men and women heart broken and suffering. My advice to those that think this should not be considered cheating, is to place yourself in the shoes of the innocent spouse and ask yourself, how would you feel if he or she did that to you? How would you react if your wedding vows were broken through emotional affair? Its not a pleasant feeling and it destroys lives.