CSI: NY actor Hill Harper writes a thought provoking book worthy of an open discussion among black men and women. This book covers the history of black relationships and families from the past into the present. Presenting facts, figures, and quotes from notable actors, teachers, and respected leaders in the community. In fact, the dialogue in the book directly challenges our perspectives on the way we see and interact with each other.
Harper covers the issues of money, power, dating, and the family dynamics that influences our cohesiveness as a people. One example is the way we define the head of household. In our current society, the man is not always the bread winner. Some couples commute to work, while another has to take on the task of helping with homework and raising the kids. The person left with this task isn’t always wearing a skirt. Are we changing with the time to meet the challenges of the new black family?
Harper also discusses dating with children and how this issue should be handled. He tackles this issue with kid gloves while encouraging us to consider how our choices impact our children. Using his own past experience he relates to how children are impacted by their parents dating.
Another challenge is dating before you have a working idea of how you define a relationship. “How do you define a relationship?” What is your truth? Harper challenges us to ask ourselves this question and stop allowing others to choose or say what is best for us.
Remember: Love is a choice. It is not always wrapped-up in a feeling. To get involved with another person means you have to bring yourself to the table. You have to be present. Then begin the dialogue never assuming you know what the other person wants or thinks. In other words, have the conversation.