It happens every day, cheating on your spouse or lover, citing statistics is not necessary. As you read this a number of things probably come to mind, you are cheating, you suspect your partner may be cheating, or you can think of your friends, family and acquaintances which you know are having affairs. It is more prevalent than not.
Which brings us to the question, which is easier to do be faithful or to have an affair? Oh sure people make excuses for having affairs all day long:
- Getting their needs met
- Inattentive spouse
- Feeling neglected
- Spouse puts their job, children, mother before them
- Having a bigger sexual appetite, the list goes on and on.
It makes no sense why people get into what should be a long term relationship, only to have affairs with others throughout most of the relationship. Is it really that difficult to stay true to your beloved? Did you not think through the “marriage contract” and what it actually entails?
When you decide to cheat on your spouse, many other people will be involved, whether you think so or not. It is like a pebbble dropped into water, its effects rippling out to those you did not even expect it to. The affair affects those within the family we know, but what about those who actually see the affair in action and must decide whether to keep the secret or to tell and the repercussions it will bring.
It is about respecting boundaries, and if you have helped to set up boundaries within relationship, then it is up to all parties involved to respect them. It should be up to parties on the outside of the relationship to respect that boundary, but a broken link in that chain is all it takes to set the whole wall crumbling down.
Affairs have been around since the beginning of time, and their are some famous ones, ones that have even shaped history, strange bedfellows: Lancelot and Guinevere, Napoleon and Josephine. Affairs happen to even the best of us or do they.
Remaining faithful, some people will say relationships are difficult and trying, but only if you are involved with someone who ignores the boundary of the relationship and refuses to be true and is constantly looking for reasons to reach outside of it for another.
Remaining faithful takes two mature and completely devoted individuals to make a lasting commitment to each other, one that they will each uphold, worship and endure. Because as you know there are enough issues already, that will try a marriage or relationship: children, in-laws, jobs, long distance, addictions, money, let alone an affair.
Look at the affair you are thinking of having as a life-changing source, because it will, change your life and those around you involved with you.
Affairs really point to the person having one, lack of respect and self-esteem, self-worth and disappointment. Work on yourself, before you involve another in your life, if it means you will stray from the boundaries of a relationship. Because we know that a relationship is also a place to work on these types of issues also, a place for healing each other’s past.
- Avoiding temptations, before they begin. Do not go there, refuse to succumb.
- Repair any breakdowns, just like maintenance on your car, it can not run smoothly when it is broken or running shabbily, or just plain not being taken care of.
- Keep communication open, even it is means a simple note.
- Realistic expectations, what happens in the movies obviously does not count as real.