As the end of the year draws near, many of us are already making mental notes of what we’d like to improve about our lives. Making New Year’s resolutions usually includes fixing finances, getting in shape and pursue career interests. But for anyone who is planning to find the love of their lives, it’s time to reflect on previous mistakes and fix patterns that don’t work.
Single parents may feel challenged to find love, especially when parenting schedules consume much of their free time. What’s worse than not having enough time to date? Dating with results that leave you jaded about ever finding a true love. Instead of wondering if there’s something wrong with you, or that everyone you date is a jerk, try to acknowledge any relationship mistakes that you keep making. These can include any of the following:
- Wasting time with emotionally unavailable people. Those vibes you pick up on that say, “I can’t tell if he likes me or not” are usually your intuition speaking to you. They don’t lie, unlike you often do to yourself by ignoring or rationalizing red flags about who you date. If the person is shut off emotionally and can’t open up about how he or she feels about you, move on.
- Having too high or very few expectations. No one is perfect, including ourselves. Having too many demands on the checklist of qualities you seek is just as impeding to finding love as being a pushover who settles for anyone who shows attention. Reflect on yourself: what can you offer, and try to seek similar standards in a mate.
- Letting unresolved issues of the past haunt new relationships. If your ex comes up in conversations right at the start, and continues throughout the initial dates, perhaps you aren’t ready for love. For tips on breaking up with love instead of resentment, read books about relationships or schedule a visit with a therapist.
- Being too needy or desperate. There are many dating mistakes people make, but needing to be with someone takes the cake for both sexes. Your life should be fullfilled and satisfying on your own without the need to have a person fill in a void. No one can make you happy but you.
Once you can fix your own faulty behavior, the rest should fall into place when seeking your soul mate. You can be honest about what doesn’t work for you, and be selective (yet realistic) about who is your ideal mate. No matter what reason your past relationships didn’t work, remember that it isn’t something wrong with you, you just haven’t met the right person to compliment who you are.
If you aren’t dating because of financial difficulties, then make resolutions to change those circumstances. Perhaps more affordable housing would free up some money for a social life. Or a supplemental income would give you more freedom in dating. The economic times should not stand in the way of finding true love.
Begin the year with love for yourself, and sooner or later, the right one for you will recognize your great qualities. Good luck for finding love in the New Year!